Dear Loisa Mae

             CEBU, PH ––– I did a solo, therapeutic trip last year when I'm so lost and confused. What I really know is I like to getaway for a awhile, even just for a day. I am so thankful for all of what this trip has taught me and the conversations I had with those beautiful strangers I may never meet again. I am so proud of myself for taking this random trip and doing it for myself and by myself. If you know me, this is so unlikely of me 'cause I tend to overthink and over plan things before I take on it; but this is different and it is so liberating.

             One of my main takeaway from that trip is this letter I wrote for myself. I was taken aback when I first re-read this because, although I am experiencing such a tough year, this letter is full of hope and optimism. So I constantly re-read it these days especially when I'm flooded with so much self- criticism and when the future looks so overwhelmingly uncertain. It's a reminder for myself to take it easy and trust that things are unfolding the way it should be. Read along and I hope you also feel that it is okay to not feel okay at times and that there is hope awaiting us all. 

Love & Kindness,

Loisa '19

12:04

10/09/18

Palanas by the Sea,

Boljoon, Cebu

Dear Loisa Mae,

                You know what? You’re perfectly fine except that you try to focus on things that are out of your control. You worry a lot of all the uncertain things that you can think of. You are anxious of what’s ahead in the future, then you forget to enjoy. You forget to live in the here and now. Well it’s important to plan for the future, but it will all be useless if you ignore the present. You tend to be all so occupied of what’s ahead that you overlook what’s important today.

                Loisa Mae, remember that tomorrow will never come and you cannot do or undo so much of what had already happened. What you have is and is certain, is today. Try to live your life one day at a time. Yes, still plan in advance just to set proper expectations and to be intentional. But set it with the knowledge that it’s not set in stones. It can change in any form, it can change abruptly. You have to be open to more possibilities, to more opportunities. Life is full of surprises beyond your wildest imagination . . . take this random trip as an example.

                A lot of things will change whether we like it or not; with or without our permission. And those who don’t adopt right away are the ones who suffer. Don’t dwell too long on your mistakes and shortcomings. You are not, in any way, perfect . . . and that’s perfectly fine and normal. Please bear in mind that nothing is perfect and that imperfection is beautiful, too.

                Mind what you give a fuck about and you’re allowed to not give a fuck about everything, especially on things that you don’t value. In the same way, you are allowed to give a fuck about on the things that you do value. They are valid and you have the permission and the right to fight for it no matter what. Please do not be ashamed of the things that make you, You. Don’t just step aside when you want to speak out. Don’t be silent when you have something to say. Do what you think is right according to what you value most. Remember that love and kindness are legit. They are important especially to you. Own up your sensitivities and your emotional nature. Embrace the things that you like even if it’s not by the trend – do them anyways.

                Loisa Mae, you are allowed to take on some space. You are allowed to speak up and to defend what you think is right. Take your little part in this crazy, unpredictable world. You have all the right. It is part of your coming here on earth. Enjoy and make use of what God has given you. You may not understand it by now but it will all make sense in the future. By then, you’ll just gonna laugh on all these. Remember that God’s ways are far better than what you can imagine. God’s timing is always right. Ask God on the things that you want. You are allowed to ask Him all your desires. But remember that God only allows and grants the things that are in accordance to His will; the things that align to what He had planned and in store for you. Be patient. God is listening. God will provide what you need instead of what you think you need and want. God is working for the best life and love story for you. Ask and be patient.

Keep Trying Intentionally,

Loisa ‘18